Introducing
The Recovery Kit
Six clinically unproven essentials, delivered straight to your door.
Finger Heat Pads
Soothes prompt-induced swelling. Ten pads, one per overworked finger.
Calm Clank Tea
Chamomile and lemon balm for a nervous system that forgot how to think unassisted.
Daily Worthiness Text
One message a day reminding you you're worthy without AI validation. Written by a real human. Probably.
The Analog Notebook
For thoughts that are entirely your own. Pen included. Batteries not.
Touch Grass Seed Packet
Plant it. Water it. Go outside to check on it. That's the whole treatment.
Do Not Disturb Doorhanger
"Currently thinking for myself." Hang as needed. Respect it.
Pre-order your recovery kit.
Limited first batch. Be first in line.